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Funny Jingles
I love me, I think I'm grand;
I sit in the movies and I hold my hand.
I put my hand around my waist;
If I get fresh, I slap my face!
Mary had a little lamb,
Lobster and some pie,
Some ice-cream and some pickles,
Plus half a loaf of rye.
It made the naughty waiters grin
To see her order so;
And when they carried Mary out
Her face was white as snow!
O, MLE, what XTC
I always feel when UIC;
I used to rave of LN'S eyes,
4 LC I gave countless sighs;
4 KT, 2, and LNR,
I was a keen competitor;
But each is a non-NTT,
4 U XL them all UC.
Yesterday upon the stair
I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today;
I wish to heck he'd go away.
Love is like an onion;
You taste it with delight.
And when it's gone you wonder
What ever made you bite.
Women's faults are many;
Men have only two:
Everything they say,
And everything they do.
The pretty girl forgot her fare,
But the bus driver was not rough.
She kissed him sweetly then and there,
And he said, "Fare enough!"
Our hero gazed upon the deep
And heard the waterfall beyond;
And from the cliff he made a leap
To save the drowning blonde.
He saved the maid from cruel death;
And as their pulses beat as one,
He spoke to her with panting breath:
"Gee kid, you weigh a ton."
"Twixt the optimist and the pessimist
The difference is droll.
The optimist sees the doughnut,
While the pessimist sees the hole.
- Jingles from the Jumbo Fun Book -
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